A New Start

I’ve been gone from Word Press for over a month now while I reflected, analyzed, dealt with life, licked my wounds, took deep cleansing breaths. But, honestly, I’m not much different or a better person than I was a month ago. Sure, I had a brief relationship; my daughter had brain surgery; I’ve cleaned random things/places in my house that were in desperate need; lost my mind completely on someone (but the person finally “came clean”); started attending a support group (best decision I’ve made in a while); reconnected with some friends on a better level; started attending church services again; have decided that I have crazy manic energy manifesting itself now; and I’m practicing asking for and accepting help (a HUGE step forward for me).

Part of all of this is that I’m reevaluating what I am doing on Word Press also. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but this started as a “I wonder if I can do this” kind of exercise for me. As a person who has always considered herself a writer, but was terrified of sharing her work, I finally did it (I type with a smile). I was able to share some of my thoughts, concerns and worries with “the public.” I’ve had this blog for just short of a year and I’ve learned quite a bit about myself and about life, in general. I haven’t had clear direction in regard to what I’ll write or when I’ll write it. But, as I mentioned… this crazy mania has overtaken me and I need to relearn how to focus.

That being said, I have realized that I do have a purpose for this blog. It’s become my journey back to me – finding myself again after ending an 18 year relationship. Ironically, I had started writing a book of sorts about 2 years ago that was going to be faux reality and loosely based on my friend and her life changes after leaving an abusive relationship. I had tentatively called it “1,000 Days to Joy” (Joy is the character’s name – maybe). Interestingly enough (for me, anyway), in the fall of 2012, I had a reading from a “gypsy” who had done readings for me in the past. He told me that it would take 3 years for things to calm down in my life and 3 years for me to really find myself where I want to be. Three years is 1,095 days, excluding leap years.

I’ve made it through the first year and have thrashed around endlessly, cried seemingly millions of tears, had what I’d consider a breakdown and spent endless hours thinking and lamenting. Whew! I’m past the 400 day mark and am seeing some light blue skies again – still many clouds, but there is blue. I’ve refocused some parts of my life and have purged my home of a ridiculous amount of clutter. I hope I’ve learned many of the lessons put in front of me. (It seems I keep coming up against more challenges, so I’ll assume I have learned and am moving onward and upward.)

I want to start this year with a “Thank You!” to anyone who has read my writing and therefore given me a little parcel of solid ground in this unpredictable and ever-changing landscape that is my life. I am moving forward with a still very cloudy concept of where I am headed, but my goals are becoming clearer and my focus has a starting point. My goal for The Forgetful Genius is to post at least 150 times this year – we’ll see how I do. I’m going to update my “about me,” leave my past behind me and trudge on forward. Thanks for sticking around!



What Am I Doing?

This blog has been at alternating moments cathartic and entertaining (if not purely for me).

If you’re looking for consistency in my posts, I apologize. I’m just not there yet. I think in ten different directions at once and, really, that’s what this blog has shown. Writing all of these posts has been an experiment of sorts for me. I wanted to see if I could put myself “out there.” It’s been a great experience for me.

Yes, like many others, I aspire to write books – both novels and a book for which I’ve been researching. I want to write, in general. I’ve stayed away from my book topics in this blog, but need to begin to focus more as I try to “hunker down” and put pen to paper on two long-dreamt of projects.

I’d love your feedback – good, bad and indifferent. As I said, I am unfocused with my topics – that’s the joy of being The Forgetful Genius.

I appreciate that you’ve given me a few minutes out of your days (minutes that you can’t get back). I hope I’ve made you think, given you food for thought, or maybe a chuckle now and then. Above all, I hope I’ve piqued your interested enough on a random topic or two to keep you coming back.

I have really no clue what will prompt me to write tomorrow. Hope to see you then!



Why The Forgetful Genius?

I am incapable of remembering names.

Well, the names of people I have met recently. By recently, I mean people I have met even 5 minutes earlier. Yet ask me about a night out 25 years ago and I can give you every last detail. Ask me what I ate for lunch yesterday or if I had breakfast this morning — no clue. A party I went to in 1987, I absolutely remember a conversation I had, the entire thing. The nuances of the body language. Everything. I sadly, don’t remember what my kids’ first words were, but memorized their birth weights. For the first three months of my son’s life, I told everyone the incorrect day when asked his birthday. Only after I was admonished several times did I memorize it. Not that his birthday was an insignificant or unimportant moment for me, but I just can’t remember certain things.

From those few examples, you’d probably shake your head and wonder what kind of person I am. I do, too, some days.

I can set up a budget management system in a blank spreadsheet to ultimately manage more than $20million annually. However, one of my worst moments was helping one of my three children with kindergarten math and I got it wrong. I can look at a picture of something (a creative decoration or functional item) and determine how it was designed, then replicate it. Please don’t ask me to remember school snacks. Despite multiple reminder notes, I won’t get them to the classroom.

I really worry when I can’t remember how to spell my first name when signing a check. Really? It’s 5 letters. I’m almost 43 years old. It’s not difficult. Yet it happens all the time.

It’s a joke among my closest friends and even long-time colleagues that I can be truly clueless. I’ve decided to embrace that. I am forgetful.

More than 11 years ago a very competitive friend and I were continually challenging each other with IQ tests. We were always within 2-3 points of one another. One of the tests pre-qualified me for the Mensa test. With her prodding, I took it and passed. I was pregnant with my 3rd child within 4 years and deep in the baby fog that comes along with pregnancy and being a mother of young children, yet I still passed. I can’t remember basic things, yet I’m in the upper range of intelligence. Quite the contrast. Thus “The Forgetful Genius.”