Inside My Heart

If you could sense the emotions inside my heart you’d find confusion, fear, a sense of being overwhelmed, and a strong sense of peace.

If you could see what I imagine inside my heart you’d see the walls I’ve built for protection slowing coming down.

I know I’m not an easy person to get to know. I’m know I keep so much to myself. I understand that I need to learn to be vulnerable in order to truly let you know me.

I’m trying. Every day I take another step that will bring me closer to you.

I thank you for your patience. I thank you for your love and caring. I thank you for showing me who you are so that I can feel comfortable showing you who I am.

If you could feel what I feel inside my heart when I’m with you, you’d feel supported, loved, protected, safe, and extraordinarily happy.

 

 

Open letter to my Earth Angels

The past 30 months have been challenging to say the least. Some of which I have fallen down while trying to learn the lessons put in front of me. Some I feel I have learned with honors. I have begged and pleaded at times for the challenges to lessen or to cease completely. Yet, “the voice” always would remind me – “Ask not for your load to be lightened, only the strength to endure.”  I am finally understanding that each of these challenges have taught me invaluable lessons and each of these lessons were necessary for me to move forward. So, thank you to my Angels – those who are physically here with me and those which never leave my side. You have helped me to become the woman I am now – the woman I was not three years ago. Certainly not the woman I was even a year ago.

I have been blessed over and over again. My prayers have been answered in numerous ways and I am humbled.

Thank you.

A VERY Belated Thank you!

I was EXTREMELY surprised and thrilled to have been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award by someone of whom I’m a big fan — Swiss Ami Mom at The Starting End.

Unfortunately, life got in my way and I haven’t been able to properly thank her for the nomination. So a very belated – THANK YOU!

My writing last year got pretty heavy toward the end of the year, but I really tried to stretch myself with different types of writing and I hope to do the same this year (without such dark images or rather – substituting the darkness for macabre).

I am truly enjoying putting my thoughts “out there” into cyberland and am so thankful that you are reading. THANK YOU!

As part of the nomination, I need to give you all 7 facts about me… hmmmmmm

1) I am the proud mom of a 20-year old Severe Macaw named Dante (after my favorite writer of all time). She shares my home and my heart with my three children and 12 other creatures that live in our home.

2) My heart belongs in Italy although I don’t have a drop of Italian blood in me (that I know of).

3) If I could live anywhere, I’d live in Switzerland. (But, of course, in the Italian speaking region.)

4) I’ve considered myself a writer for as long as I can remember, but only found the courage to share my writing last year.

5) My hobbies are more those of an elderly woman than a “spry” 40-something. I love to cross-stitch, sew various things, go antiquing and garden.

6) My goal had been to earn my PhD in literatures (14th century Italian literature to be exact), but as I age, the likelihood of that becomes smaller and smaller. I would like to earn my PhD at some point, I just need to decide what courses I’d enjoy.

7) I think far too much than is good for anyone. As a result of that and of a degenerative condition I developed an anxiety disorder about 10 years ago and many days it is a struggle to be in large groups. So, I have become a shadow of the person I once was. I speak openly about it because far more people suffer from anxiety and depression than anyone wants to admit.

Now that you have a little bit of insight into who I am, I’d like to pass along these warm and fuzzy award to several other writers/bloggers I enjoy. I hope you’ll pay them a visit sometime.

http://www.peaceloveandoats.com/

http://eastraveller.wordpress.com/about/

http://swissmissteak.wordpress.com/ (a second blog site from a fabulous writer)

http://modmargie.wordpress.com/

http://learus.wordpress.com/

versatile-blogger

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An Award?!?!? I’m honored!!

liebster2

Thank you! Thank you!

I don’t know where to even begin.

First and foremost, I want to thank EasTraveller for the nomination. I am truly flattered and honored! Thank you!

I started this blog a little over a month ago to get into the habit of writing and gain some confidence. New life, new direction post-divorce. My topics are all over the place, but… that’s the joy of being me. Every view on the stats page is thrill for me. Thank you – all of you for taking time out of your life to read my random thoughts!

So here’s what I need to do (after I have thanked the nominating blogger): answer 11 questions, write 11 things about myself, then pass on the love.

Here goes….

1. What is the quality that you feel most proud of?

Looking at things from 10 different angles… But then I get confused sometimes.

 2. If you choose to have one superpower, what will it be?

Knowing what you all are thinking. heh heh heh   Imagine the things I’d be able to write then….

3. If the story of “Indecent Proposal” ever happens to you, what would you do?

If someone approached me who looked like Robert Redford? Really? 🙂

4. What is your most embarrassing moment?

I called a business associate Lupa Dupa. Ya, I did. I couldn’t remember his name and that’s what it sounded like when he introduced himself when he called. My mouth just works too fast sometimes. He laughed. I’m thankful for that.

5. Is there anything you can’t do anymore but you wish you could? What is it?

A sit up.

6. What is the title of the last book you read?

“The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest” by Stieg Larsson      I just didn’t want that series to end.

7. What is the first adjective you would think of when anyone asks you about China?

beautiful

8. What is your favorite sport?

Anything my kids are playing

9. What do you want to ask if you ever meet a great fortuneteller?

When will I finish one of the books I’m writing?

10. What is your biggest superstition?

I have many. Not sure which one is the biggest

11. What do you do when you have some “ME time”?

Write

 

 11 things about me:

1. I can speak Italian – slowly.

2. I had dreamt of studying and teaching post-Dark Ages/pre-Renaissance Italian literature.

3. I love to cross-stitch.

4. The picture from my page is from atop Jungfraujoch in Switzerland. The highest train station in Europe. Above the clouds. (Yes, I took the photo.)

5. I love polka dots. I don’t know why. They just make me smile.

6. I love to travel. Alone is perfectly fine with me. Some of my best vacations/travels have been alone.

7. Among the 11 creatures inhabiting my home (besides the children and me) are a severe macaw, a bearded dragon and a chinchilla.

8. I think seadragons are fascinating creatures and I once pushed young children out of the way to watch a seahorse give birth at an aquarium once. (Sorry kids!)

9. I have never been able to grow my hair more than two inches past my shoulders. I don’t know why. I am follicly challenged and have terrible envy of women with long hair.

10. I have difficulty finishing projects if they take a long time. I lose interest in things quickly. I’m working on that.

11. I am in awe of people who follow their dreams and live off the beaten path. Hats off to all of them/you!

I’d like to nominate two established writers who actually have been inspirations to me, so it feels odd passing along their sites, but I’m so incredibly proud to do so…  TheyStillCallMeDaddy and JennyBadman. I’d actually like to accompany their nominations with fond personal stories, but I think I’ll refrain right now.