Bittersweet

I’ve long feared you
Your acid tongue
Your horrid actions

You shaped me into
A fearful woman
Cringing from my past

Never feeling whole
Never feeling protected
Never feeling loved

As I grew, I rebelled
My tongue grew acidic
Yet my heart was raw

Somehow knowing
I was strong
Despite your words

Somehow believing
I was lovable
Despite your actions

I long ago vowed
To overcome
And I did

Yet over time, I faltered
Feeling unworthy
Hearing the hatred

Decades of ups and downs
And I finally understood
Yours was self-hate

I was an easy target
Exhibiting your traits
Both good and bad

Increasingly you tried
To beat me down
Words cutting to my core

Actions showing indifference
Knowing that even kindness
Would soon turn to anger

When I finally understood
I was at my weakest
But I spoke my truth

You attacked again
I ignored – my only
Remaining defense

Silence as I admitted
The battles I’d faced
Within myself

Standing strong, yet
Knowing something
Big was coming

Centered, praying
Feeling stronger
The blade struck

Numbness
Unable
To feel

Not knowing how
To react
I prayed

“Be strong.” “Do right.”
Support I’d
Never felt before.

It had always been there
But I’d been to afraid
To accept any help

Then a flippant comment
“You’ll finally be free.”
My heart burst open.

What a concept
Free to be me.
Free to be open.

What a horrid price to pay.
I watch your body fail.
My heart cries.

I pray for peace
I pray for comfort
I pray for freedom

Both of us
Will soon be free
Of this mess

We both built it
We both destroyed
Any hope of peace

I have always loved you
No matter what was said
I only wanted love back

Feeling empty yet
Confident that I have
Broken the cycle

Failing for years
I finally feel strong
Doing the right thing

I won’t miss the anger
I won’t miss the abuse
But I will forever miss you

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50 Words Only – Two Hearts

 

Windswept beach

Glance exchanged

Brief introductions

 

Hearts forever connected

 

Photograph taken

One slow dance

Hesitant conversation

 

Long letters exchanged

Promises made

 

A joyous reunion

 

Perfect vista shared

Moonlit dancing

Delicate kisses

 

Lack of communication

Final letter sent

 

Years go by

 

An Internet search

Emails Exchanged

 

Two hearts intertwined for eternity

 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

50 Words Writing Challenge

 

 

 

My facade

The façade begins to crumble
causing rumbling beneath my feet.
For so long I’ve managed
To keep the appearance of
Being in control.
Although those who know me best,
Understand who I really am.
They see my insecurities.
My weaknesses.
My failures.

Yet they also see my potential.
They provide encouragement, support
And non-judgemental love.
I’ve counted on them
to keep my secrets
Believing that if others knew
That so much of me is only a façade,
Which I’ve hidden behind,
Their opinion of me would change.

As my true self becomes unhidden,
I feel a lightness that
I’ve never felt before.
Despite the uneven ground beneath my feet
and the debris falling around me,
I feel beautiful.
I feel confident.
Things I’ve never felt before.

I’m growing stronger.
I’m beginning to break down
The walls of my façade.
I’ve been so afraid to be me,
To allow anyone to know
The entire story behind
Who I am.

I can look back and see
The progress I’ve made.
The road has been long
And full of hurdles.
But it’s getting easier
Without the weight of my past
on my shoulders.
I am blessed for every day
I’ve breathed and look forward
To all of the beautiful things
I know I will find along
The road ahead unburdened
By the walls I’ve carried with me.

 

 

3 Words – 12/12 – Smokey Thoughts

Her worries circled around her
like smoke from a fire.
She couldn’t make them dissipate.
The boundaries she
had set for herself were breached now
and she couldn’t seem
to find her way back to the safe,
warm place in her mind.
She sat on the couch pulling the
blanket tightly around her, closed
her eyes and dreamt of
a future with clear, peaceful skies.

 

(Write incorporating 3 words – worry, smoke, boundaries)

http://threewordsaday.wordpress.com/

3 Words – 11/27 – Taking a Risk

When we meet someone new
Our heart, our soul, our gut
Tells us if we should risk
Moving forward with them.
The biggest hurdle we
find is coordinating
our heart and our mind.
Some people have a touch
so special it prompts us
to continue despite
a feeling that something
doesn’t fit in with where
our own path is heading.
At times it’s worth the risk
to follow the other’s path
To learn lessons we must
endure – while knowing in
our core that the connection
will end painfully.
The challenge is protecting
our delicate ego
while tasting the sweet fruit
the person offers us.
Living for the moment,
with no worry about
a future together.
Knowing when the future
comes we’ll be left only
with the lingering sting
of the bittersweet times
spent following a path
not meant for permanence.

 

 

(Write incorporating 3 words – risks, that, tell)

http://threewordsaday.wordpress.com/

3 words – 11/14 – Iconic

She stood on the dock;

her straight hair becoming

tangled in the wind.

Normally serene,

the lake had swollen with

the recent downpour.

With each wave crashing

against the rocks lining

the shore, concern grew.

Behind her the house

was lit waiting to bid

welcome to the crew.

She pulled her sweater

tight against the night chill,

clutching her hands near

her sad, troubled heart.

She was the iconic

woman at the shore

waiting for the man she

loved – missing at sea.

 

(Write incorporating 3 words – iconic, straight, swollen)

http://threewordsaday.wordpress.com/

 

3 Words – 11/11/13 – Alone

Rarely asking for advice
Instead choosing to listen quietly
From the side, then forge ahead
In the direction already ahead.

Frequently learning the hard way
Where, had others’ wisdom been followed,
Destructive moments leading to solitude
Could have been avoided.

Often feeling completely alone
Due to my own actions.
I often wonder if anything or
Everything would be different.

(Write incorporating 3 words – advice, destruction, everything)

http://threewordsaday.wordpress.com/

3 words – 11/7 – Growing Wiser

As the years pass
At varying speeds
Change is most apparent
Only over time.
We grow older
in the physical sense
But remain a younger version
in our minds.
Once favorite things
Bring melancholy grins
When they pass though
our vision again.
We age and grow slower.
Yet our minds remain nimble.
Incredible moments seem recent
rather than years long past.
We look to those younger
With bittersweet thoughts
Hoping they live every moment
As we had before them.

 

(Write incorporating 3 words – favorite, incredibly, older)

http://threewordsaday.wordpress.com

3 Words – 11/1 – November

The winds of November

Blow the fallen leaves away.

A reminder that another year

Of adventures has passed.

We spend our days moving forward

With a positive outlook

Despite the cloudy days

That dampen our moods.

Memories of the past year

Bring bittersweet smiles to our faces.

 

 

(Write incorporating 3 words – cloudy, November, past)

http://threewordsaday.wordpress.com/