Soul Mates, Twin Flames, Destiny, Fate, Serendipity or just pure luck

I threw serendipity in there just because I love that word. Anyway…

I’ve long been tortured (as I’m sure many people in the world have) by the concept of one true soul mate. What if I don’t find him? What if I blow it? Is there even one for me?

As one who has not dated all that much and has one failed marriage under my belt, I have to admit that I stopped believing in one specific, romantic soul mate about a decade ago (mind you, my 16-year marriage was only officially over 9 months ago). And I have to admit that I smirk at the concept of one solitary soul mate and my eyes turn a bitter shade of green when I hear (or read about) those who have found a lifetime partner. It’s just not my destiny. I also truly believe that if you want to be with someone and make your relationship worth, it will take more than some random connection. The connection will only get you so far before the actual work, commitment and dedication sets in.

Not to say I doubt I’ll ever be in a long-term relationship again (I truly hope for one), but I just don’t think there is only one person in this vast world of ours for each of us. I do believe that we can have deep and lasting connections with multiple people. (I recently wrote about two amazing friends of mine who happen to be men.) I have met many people in my 40+ years with who I have felt an instant connection and who are at this point in my life more than friends, but family. I’m fortunate.

I believe that people are definitely brought into our lives for a reason, for a lesson whether good or bad. And I do believe that those we feel closest to could be those with whom we’ve travelled over and over throughout our lives. Do I believe in reincarnation? Ummmm… ya. I think I do. I’m not religious, but very spiritual and from all I’ve seen we’re all more alike than we acknowledge. How can we think we are so great and so individual that centuries of people have come and gone and we only get one shot at this? There are limited letters in an alphabet and limited words in a dictionary. Why not limited souls who return once or many times to complete something left undone or learn more about the world or to truly leave an impact?

I’ve been tossing around different belief systems to see which fits. Not that I feel I need to have a specific religion to which I should belong, but the Christianity thing has just not worked for me. I’m finding more and more interesting concepts in the Pagan and Eastern religions. One idea that I love, but still torments me because it’s so similar to the concept of soul mate is the idea of a twin flame – our equal who can not necessarily be the same age or gender and someone we may know or not know. Not necessarily destined to be together (since the energy when combined can be overwhelming), but someone we should acknowledge is out there so we aren’t so alone. It’s almost like the Will Smith movie Hancock – when he and Cherlize Theron are together, everything is stronger and actually a little off. The energy is too much for most to handle and it is recognized instantly. In that telling, if the characters stay together they will die because it’s just too much.

Think about that for minute. With soul mates there is one person with whom you should be and that person will make your life complete. With twin flames you have an equal somewhere out there who you may or may not meet, but you are not alone. hmmmmmmm   I like it.

In this vast world where we can easily get lost maybe there really is someone who understands us. But can we manage the energy if we ever meet? I know the energy I feel from the people with whom I’m closest, those I believe have travelled with me through different lifetimes. I met someone who is close to my twin flame – I’ve never felt such energy and so many commonalities – and we burned out quickly. But twin flames aren’t necessarily meant to be together. Nonetheless, the spark between us was immense and made me re-evaluate so many things about life. Amazing experience.


Postscript: I wrote this yesterday morning. Just random thoughts. I typically post what I write quickly, but I didn’t yesterday. Then yesterday evening I communicated with the guy I had been dating – whom I considered a similar flame to my own. The reason he gave me for breaking up with me was because he found his twin flame while we were together. Interesting food for thought for me as I lick my wounds.



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Patricia J Grace

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