9 Life Lessons

I’m learning more every day about the things I didn’t realize about myself. I’ve always considered myself to be a fairly self-aware person, but it’s truly amazing how much you learn about yourself when a relationship ends. Self-reflection can be wonderfully enlightening and incredibly painful.

Below are a few things I’m learning about myself and about life during this crazy time in my life:

  1. While we may be destined to be similar to our parents, we can skip over their bad habits. It seems typical to find fault with our parents in order to “leave the nest” and begin our own lives, but there needs to come a time when you make peace with them. Seek to find the great within your parents, personify that and overlook what you consider the undesirable traits. This leads to the next lesson:
  1. Forgiveness feels like the weight has been removed. Grudge holding helps no one. Learn the lesson and move forward or you will repeat it. The times I’ve forgiven someone for something – it could be an oversight, it could be a lie or it could be accepting their faults – I’ve felt immense weight lifted from my shoulders. If only I could remember this and be more forgiving day to day.
  1. You cannot change anyone. We all will only change if we want to, if compelled by some inner desire to improve or simply to give up and be bitter (see #2). When you go into a relationship whether it’s a friendship or partnership or business dealing, everyone brings along his/her own thoughts, experiences and personalities. If we want the co-existence to be relatively conflict free, we need to accept people for who they are. We can always learn and grow because of our acceptance.
  1. One person does not know what is best for everyone. It seems such a simple concept, but it never is. As individuals, we tend to find a need to make ourselves heard. We want our ideas implemented. We want to win. The older I become, the more I understand that each person has his/her own agenda, desires and dreams. We all are striving for what is best for each of us, not necessarily what is best for the whole. We all need to learn how to bend.
  1. Take responsibility. You are responsible for your own success or failure and everything else you do. This goes back to #4. No one is going to have your exact agenda or goals. If you want something, you need to plan and work for it. You may have some people helping you along the way, but you are the only one who can make your dreams real. Additionally, your actions are your choice – own them. Right or wrong, you are responsible for everything you say and do. Don’t try to put the blame on anyone else.
  1. Speak up if you want to be heard. No one can read your mind. We can’t expect anyone to know what we are thinking if we don’t tell them. Even the greatest of relationships will fail without clear communication.
  1. Learn to let go. Holding on to past hurts, past relationships, thoughts that are antiquated are simply toxic. Make peace with what is in your past and move forward. If you keep carrying everything with you, your road will be that much more difficult to travel.
  1. Set goals. Without a destination, how will you arrive? I could not agree more that the journey is often the best part, but with no goal in site, what are you working toward? Start with small goals and relish the sense of accomplishment when you reach them. But don’t overlook setting goals further out than six months or before you realize, you’re five years older and still walking in circles.
  1. Sometimes it is best to sit back and be an attendee rather than a participant. Some of the best life lessons come when we quiet the inner dialogue in our minds and simply watch others. We can learn so much by getting out of our own heads and just watching quietly from the sidelines.

2 thoughts on “9 Life Lessons

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Patricia J Grace

Author of SHATTERED, a memoir of childhood sexual abuse

Logical Quotes

Logical and Inspirational quotes


#FlashMob Rules.

Expat Eye on Germany

Becoming German in 473,937,493 easy steps

Confessions of a Pseudo-Gaysian Suburban Dad

Thoughts on gender, race, parenting, and theater

And Then What Happened?

Stories written by Wendy Just

One Good Dad


Dr. Jen Gunter

Wielding the lasso of truth

Style and a Half

Vancouver-based illustrator, writer, style blogger

My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog

A writer's life, bare-knuckled, with a soundtrack.

An Unperfect Life

because perfection is overrated

Poet's Corner

Poems, poets, poetry, writing, poetry challenges

Our Er-Lee Arrivals (Preemie Mom)

Because Some Things In Life Come Early...


Sweet Musings with a Bitterly Sharp Wit

tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice

Mostly unfinished stories primarily produced as a direct result of my association with the OC Writers Guild


caffeinated thought process

Boring Broad's Adventures

mediocre at everything since 1984

Beauty Babe

Beautiful Girls


Survivor of Child Abuse - Member in Recovery


raised in foster care; thankful for grace.

luna tick eclipse

Swimming In the Mystery of All There Is

Laith's Ramblings

Random stuff from the pen of Laith Preston

∼ Reconstructing Christina ∼

A Collection of Muses, Madness or...Magic

Joe's Musings

"You become what you think" - Ralph Waldo Emerson. I think I am a writer, do you agree?

Inside of Love

No, this blog is not about love.


Turning Tears & Laughter into Words

Dreams and Demons

Can you hear the silence?

Natasha's Memory Garden

A fine WordPress.com site

Heart of the Wilds

When all else fails, we go to the woods.

Anxiety and the Girl

One girl's adventures overcoming anxiety to live!

hearts on sleeves club

If you wear your heart on your sleeve, join the club.

Holistic Wellness for Life

Live and eat mindfully. Discover the benefits of eating whole foods and heal from the inside! Let me support you to 'Eat Well & Live Well'.

Broken and Beautiful

My life with Chiari Malformation

Slightly Ignorant

Ilana Masad Writes

Mostly Bright Ideas

Some of these thoughts may make sense. But don't count on it.

A Canvas Of The Minds

A unique collaboration of different perspectives on mental health and life

The Official Blog For Mental Health Project

Making mental health everyone's concern


Savor Kindness because cruelty is always possible later

Daily (w)rite


@Zebra Crossing

This WordPress.com site is "much ado about nothing";-)

Apoplectic Apostrophes

Confessions of a Grammar Ghoul

%d bloggers like this: