I’m rediscovering myself. It’s the time of my own personal rebirth. The Forgetful Genius’ Renaissance. I’m looking at myself, within myself and at others to figure out just who I want to be for the next half of my life. It’s a sometimes painful process, but mostly a beautiful opportunity to decide what I’m going to do; who I’m going to be.
I met someone a few months back who has amazing energy. The kind of person who inspires just because of who they are. Nothing overtly specific, but really just impressive on so many levels. Maybe it was because I’ve been in a bubble for so long, but maybe it was just serendipity (I love that word) that we happened to meet. This person inspired me to let go (at least a little) of the death grip I’ve had on controlling everything in my life. In a few short weeks, I’d done several things I’d never done before and a few that I hadn’t done in decades. Incredibly liberating.
To start this new journey, I’m looking at my bucket list again that I half-heartedly began putting together a few years back and I’m adding to it. I’m beginning to set goals again. Real, attainable goals. And re-evaluating where I am and who I am.
This year has already been such a huge journey of rebirth – as, I’m sure, other recently divorced, would agree in their first year alone. I’ve gotten back to writing, although not as much as I should. I’ve lost a couple of pounds and have improved my diet. I’m more me. Not to say this year has been all positive – with the many hours I’ve spent purging myself through tears — but, let’s focus on the good today.
I started this blog as if on a quest for validation. I have always called myself a writer, but never let anyone read my work. I have a book I’ve been working on for two decades. But, my fear has always held me back. So, earlier this year, I bit the bullet and published some thoughts on this site. While mine is certainly not the best blog around and I completely lack focus, I cannot thank enough everyone who has taken the time to read, like and comment. The validation that I can string a few sentences together and people will actually read it and appreciate it has been more than I had dreamed in the last decade. So, I thank you for your time. Truly.
Thank you for inspiring me. For your words, your blogs, your attention. It’s been an amazing feeling.
I want to throw this out into the universe and see how it goes – I’m going to post a few of the items on my bucket list. I’d love to hear some other people’s thoughts on this. A way of inspiring one another. What are you looking to do before you meet your maker, go on to Valhalla or just fade away?
Let’s start with a few of the things I’ve accomplished recently and not so recently, that’s always how I start.
- I’ve gone off all prescription medications for anxiety and chronic headaches.
- I’m feeling healthier.
- I started yoga (this is incredibly humbling as I realize what a wreck I am physically).
- I am managing a household with no help.
- I have reconnected with some old friends.
- I am writing.
- I visited the highest train station in Europe (that is my header photo – atop Jungfraujoch in Switzerland).
- I have see The Last Supper, the Pieta’, the Sistine Chapel, the Mona Lisa, Winged Venus, and other amazing works of art.
- I visited LakeComo.
- I had a great road trip from Ohio to Oklahoma and back with my kids in a six day time frame. We saw Laura Ingalls Wilder’s home, the Grand Ole Opry, the Parthenon (in Nashville), Graceland (from outside the gates), the devastation in Joplin, MO (very humbling) and traveled through nine states.
A few of the things I want to do (in no particular order):
- Finish writing my book and get it published.
- Get back to reasonable physical shape.
- Find a charity with which I can work long-term and give back with my time and energy.
- Visit Greece, Fiji, Australia, Russia, Germany, Ireland, Quebec, the Grand Canyon, Costa Rica, the Taj Mahal and many other places.
- Finish re-landscaping my house.
- Repaint the entire inside of my house.
- Make a list of all places that have my kids’ names in it and take them there.
- Clean my garage (gotta have some low-hanging fruit here).
- Find a career I’m happy with.
- Study holistic medicine and either become certified as a Holistic Counselor or simply well-versed.
- Raise well adjusted kids – or at least averagely adjusted.
- Work on my relationship skills and realize I need to let go of control more.
- Read “The Divine Comedy” again.
- Teach my kids French (but I have to relearn, too).
- Be more consistent with my blog posts.
- Visit all 50 states (I think I’m at 33)
- Learn more about the great artists, add to my collection at home (art prints, of course) and see more of the world’s most amazing works.
What is on your bucket list? I’d love to hear!