I’ll admit it. I’m angry.

It’s been seven months now since I served my ex-husband with divorce papers.

Six months since he moved out.

5-1/2 months since we were legally separated.

3-1/2 months since we were officially divorced.

A whirlwind for sure.

Despite the fact that I’m the one who filed, I’m angry.

I’m angry over my financial situation. I’m angry over my lost dreams. I’m angry when people tell me, “it’ll all get better.”

I’m angry. And I’m tired of crying, too.

As much as I was “prepared” for this. I am tired of being strong. I want someone to wrap his arms around me and tell me that it’ll be okay, but still let me cry it out. And just understand.

I’m angry that I’m in this situation. Despite everything I’ve worked so hard at my entire life, I failed. I don’t like to fail.

Yes, time heals. I need to give myself time.

I’m not a patient person. I’ve gotten better. But patience will never been my strong point.

No other way to say it — Divorce sucks.

I know someday I won’t be so angry.

I have faith that everything will work out somehow. But for now, I’m just angry.

 

 

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8 thoughts on “I’ll admit it. I’m angry.

  1. Pingback: Broken Dreams | The Forgetful Genius

  2. You’re right to be angry. Why not?
    You think you don’t deserve all this , right?
    Only a little more patient , sometimes things get fixed by themself …..
    Coraggio ,amica!

  3. I went through a divorce 15 years ago, it still makes me angry when I think about it. I am happy the divorce went through, but unhappy about the way it was handled.

    In my opinion the divorce was used for 1) to hurt and 2) to give the solicitors lots of money.

    I hope with time it gets better for you.

  4. Gosh- is it really that difficult- I am in the process…just very difficult to take the next step…as there are teenagers involved…but if you are not happy and the kids are not happy…your heart, mind and gut” feeling must be heard and action must be taken…Life is too short to be miserable…Maybe as we reach our 40’s- only then do we know what we want…just a question of finding it, I suppose. At this point in my life I am happier without “him”- I can travel where I want, eat what I want and not listen to a man who I have no respect for anymore…Just afraid of the financial implications. I thoroughly enjoy your blog…down to earth….and “yip” you are most definitely true about Italian men- They totally confuse me…saying “Ti Amo”- the first time you are “together”…by reading your blog I see this is normal….but really they don’t mean anything by it…Not used to that where I come from…But “yes” it does make “it” more wonderful…and can’t get him out of my head…

    Let your passion live on>>>
    X

    • I send you strength.
      Some days are not easy. Some days are amazing. I keep telling myself that everything takes time.
      I will tell you, overall I am happier in my “new” life. I, like you, feel free. I see potential. I’m setting goals again – without concern of eyes rolling at me or chuckles or protests when I talk about them.
      It is a HUGE step, but overall, I’m glad I did it.
      Once you make your final decision, things will come together in ways you hadn’t imagined. It’s a fascinating process and one that is teaching me about myself daily.
      I wish you the best of luck! And a future filled with happiness and opportunity!

      And thank you for the compliments. Writing was something I couldn’t do when I was married. I can’t explain why.

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