I’m tired of crying.

I cry about happy things. I cry about sad things. I cry when I’m frustrated. I just cry.

I used to never cry. People who cried annoyed me.

When I became a mom more than a decade ago, I started to understand why women cry so much. Something inside of me softened. I learned to cry. At “typical” times. Sad movies. Sad commercials. Sad stories.

Then, as things changed in my marriage and life, something inside of me started to break.

I found myself crying more frequently. I’d cry easily. I’d cry in my car on the way home from work.

As I felt myself break, I slept. As often as I could.

I refused to talk about the things that bothered me. Any mention of issues and I’d feel tears filling my eyes.

I’ve made huge changes in my life and am now on the upswing. I know I am.

But I still cry.

Some days are better than others. Some days I can make it all day without a tear.

Those days make me feel so accomplished.

Every day I continue to move forward. I know I’ve come far already.

I don’t mind being soft and crying at “appropriate” times.

But, I want to cry over everything any more.

I’m tired of crying.

 

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One thought on “I’m tired of crying.

  1. Really , I understand that…
    Luckily you say you’ve come far, so be a bit more patient : everything will be all right ……
    (From a friend who experimented the same bad moments…)

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