I’m going through changes.
I know I’ve said it before, but life just moves so fast. I just continues to amaze me. As each week goes by and my kids are either at my house or with their father, I seem to take stock again of what is going on in my life. Wow. That’s really all I can say.
This morning my son who is battling a bad ear infection woke me up so I could give him his medicine and I was shot out of the gate. I took care of him, then went out and hauled all of the wood from a tree I had paid to have cut down. My lawn is now all dug up from driving my Jeep on it, but it feels good. I don’t have to worry about getting “permission” to drive on the lawn. It’s “my” lawn. I don’t have to worry about “getting in trouble” for messing up the lawn and what I’ll have to do to fix the ruts. It’s my lawn. And I messed it up in the car that I bought.
I moved all the wood myself, but I would have done that anyway had I still been married. As I soaked in the rare Northeast Ohio sunshine I found myself smiling. These are my accomplishments now. I love how the guys who cut the trees for me put several cut logs around the firepit that I built last year while I was married. I had asked for some logs to be cut so my son and I could build benches. The men put logs around the firepit – ready-made seats. I wouldn’t have thought of that and I love it. I found a few more same size cut logs so my son and I can still make a couple of small benches. I can’t wait for that project. Maybe I’ll head to the hardware store later today.
I just wrote “I’m absolutely loving these changes,” then erased it. Most of them have been amazing and wonderful. Some have been simply heartbreaking. But as I sit here with the lightest heart I’ve had in years, I’m good. Really good. I know I have a lot more changes to go through. Bring it on! I’ll be smiling and Ozzy will be singing my new mantra in the background.